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Baøi 10

VÖÔNG QUOÁC VOÂ LYÙ / THE KINGDOM OF ABSURD (SGTY 02-02)

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} VÖÔNG QUOÁC THIEÂN ÑAØNG. CAÙC COÂNG DAÂN TREÂN ÑOÙ SAY SÖA TRONG KYØ DIEÄU. “Phöôùc cho nhöõng keû ngheøo khoå taâm linh, vì Vöông quoác Thieân Ñaøng thuoäc veà hoï.” (Mat. 5:3) Haõy baét ñaàu baèng caâu chuyeän thöông löôïng cuûa moät ngöôøi treû giaøu sang trong Taân Öôùc. Anh laø moät ngöôøi giaøu. Mang giaøy Italia. Y phuïc thôøi trang. Tieàn baïc anh ñaàu tö. Theû tín duïng cuûa anh loaïi vaøng. Anh soáng nhö anh ñi phi cô – loaïi haïng nhaát. Anh coøn treû. Anh truùt heát moûi meät trong phoøng theå duïc vaø deã daøng thaû rôi tuoåi giaø qua roå boùng treân saân chôi. Buïng anh baèng phaúng. Maét anh saéc beùn. Sinh löïc laø nhaõn hieäu cuûa anh, vaø söï cheát thì coøn xa voâ taän. Anh ñaày naêng löïc. Neáu Baïn khoâng nghó vaäy, cöù hoûi anh. Baïn coù nhöõng caâu hoûi? Anh coù nhöõng caâu traû lôøi. Baïn coù nhöõng vaán ñeà? Anh coù nhöõng giaûi phaùp. Baïn coù nhöõng khoù xöû? Anh coù nhöõng yù kieán. Anh bieát anh seõ ñi ñaâu, vaø ngaøy mai anh seõ ôû ñoù. Anh laø theá heä môùi. Vaäy theá heä cuõ phaûi khaên goùi ra ñi. Anh toát nghieäp tröôøng phaùi tam “T” cuûa giôùi treû: Thònh vöôïng. Thanh xuaân. Theá löïc. Anh laø ngöôøi giaøu coù... treû trung... vaø uy quyeàn. Cho tôùi nay, ñoái vôùi anh ñôøi soáng laø moät cuoäïc daïo phoá eâm ñeàm döôùi aùnh ñeøn neon daøi theo ñaïi loä. Nhöng hoâm nay, anh coù moät caâu hoûi. Moät quan taâm thöôøng tình hay moät chaân thaønh lo sôï? Chuùng ta khoâng bieát. Nhöng chuùng ta bieát chaéc anh ñaõ ñeán ñeå caàu vaán. Bôûi moät ngöôøi quyeàn theá ñeán vieáng con trai cuûa ngöôøi thôï moäc ñeå nhôø chæ daïy, thaät laï kyø. Bôûi moät nhaø quí toäc ñeán tìm lôøi khuyeân baûo cuûa moät keû queâ muøa, thì khoâng phaûi caùch. Nhöng ñaây laø caâu hoûi khoâng thoâng thöôøng. Anh hoûi: “Thöa Thaày, toâi phaûi laøm ñieàu toát naøo ñeå ñöôïc söï soáng ñôøi ñôøi?” Lôøi leõ trong caâu hoûi cho thaáy söï hieåu laàm cuûa anh. Anh nghó raèng anh coù theå chieám ñöôïc söï soáng ñôøi ñôøi nhö anh chieám ñöôïc moïi thöù khaùc – baèng söùc löïc cuûa rieâng anh. “Toâi phaûi laøm gì?” Nhöõng ñieàu kieän naøo, thöa Ngaøi Jesus? Theá naøo laø soøng phaúng? Khoâng caàn doâng daøi; cöù thaúng ñeán cuoái haøng. Toâi phaûi ñaàu tö bao nhieâu ñeå chaéc chaén ñöôïc boài hoaøn? Caâu traû lôøi cuûa Chuùa Jesus khieán anh khoù chòu. “Neáu ngöôi muoán ñi vaøo söï soáng, thì phaûi tuaân nhöõng phaùn leänh.” Moät ngöôøi coù phaân nöûa löông taâm seõ vung tay leân ôû ñieåm naày. “Tuaân giöõ nhöõng phaùn leänh? Tuaân giöõ nhöõng phaùn leänh! Coù bao nhieâu phaùn leänh Thaày bieát khoâng? Gaàn ñaây Thaày coù ñoïc Kinh Phaùp khoâng? Toâi ñaõ thöû – thaät tình, toâi coá thöû – nhöng toâi khoâng theå.” Ñoù laø ñieàu moät ngöôøi uy quyeàn phaûi noùi, song thuù nhaän laø ñieàu quaù xa taâm trí anh. Thay vì caàu xin söï giuùp ñôõ, anh naém laáy moät caây buùt chì vaø tôø giaáy, roài hoûi baûn lieät keâ. “Nhöõng thöù naøo?” Anh lieám ñaàu buùt chì vaø nhíu moät beân loâng maøy. Chuùa Jesus chieàu yù anh. “Chôù gieát ngöôiø, chôù phaïm toäi taø daâm, chôù troäm caép, chôù laøm chöùng doái, haõy toân kính cha vaø meï ngöôi, vaø yeâu keû laân caän ngöôi nhö chính mình.” “Hay laém!” Anh ta nghó khi chaám döùt ghi cheùp. “Baây giôø toâi ñaõ coù baøi thi ñoá. Thöû xem toâi ñaäu chaêng? “Gieát ngöôøi? Taát nhieân khoâng. Taø daâm? AØ, khoâng ñöùa con trai maùu ñoû naøo laïi khoâng laøm. Troäm caép? Moät caùch kieám tieàn vaët, nhöng coù theå bieän minh. Laøm chöùng doái? Hmmmm... haõy tieáp tuïc. Toân kính cha vaø meï? Chaéc chaén, toâi ñeán thaêm OÂng Baø trong nhöõng ngaøy leã. Yeâu keû laân caän nhö chính mình...? “Heâ!” Anh cöôøi, “deã ôtï. Toâi ñaõ laøm heát thaûy nhöõng ñieàu naày. Thaät vaäy, toâi ñaõ laøm taát caû töø thuôû nhoùc con.” Anh huyeânh hoang moät tí khi anh moùc moät ngoùn tay caùi vaøo thaét löng. Coøn nhöõng phaùn leänh naøo khaùc maø Thaày vöôït qua toâi?” Laøm sao Chuùa Jesus nín ñöôïc cöôøi – hay khoùc – toâi khoâng bieát. Caâu hoûi coù yù cho ngöôøi quyeàn theá thaáy nhöõng ñieàu anh huït maát, laïi giuùp anh khoe mình cao hôn. Anh laø moät ñöùa beù ræ nöôùc treân saøn nhaø trong khi noùi vôùi meï raèng noù khoâng bò öôùt möa. Chuùa Jesus ñaït tôùi yeáu ñieåm. “Neáu ngöôi muoán troïn veïn thì ñem baùn taøi saûn ngöôi maø boá thí cho nhöõng keû ngheøo, roài ngöôi seõ ñöôïc kho baùu treân trôøi.” Lôøi phaùn naày khieán chaøng trai buoàn raàu vaø caùc moân ñoà boái roái. * * * Haõy suy gaãm veà tröôøng hôïp cuûa Sarai. Baø ñang trong thôøi tuoåi vaøng, song Thöôïng Ñeá höùa cho Baø moät con trai. Baø thaät nao nöùc. Baø ñeán tieäm maãu nhi vaø mua moät ít trang phuïc. Baø hoaïch ñònh tieäc möøng saép sanh, vaø taân trang caên leàu cuûa Baø... nhöng khoâng ñöùa con naøo ra ñôøi. Baø aên moät soá baùnh sinh nhaät vaø thoåi taét nhieàu ngoïn neán... vaãn khoâng coù con. Baø laät nhöõng tôø lòch treo töôøng suoát moät thaäp nieân... vaãn chöa coù con. Vaäy, Sarai quyeát ñònh xöû lyù baèng chính tay Baø. (“Coù leû Thöôïng Ñeá caàn toâi lo vieäc naày.”) Baø thuyeát phuïc Abram raèng thôøi kyø ñaõ heát. (“OÂng ôi, nhìn xem, OÂng cuõng khoâng treû laïi chuùt naøo!”) Baø ra leänh cho naøng haàu, Hagar, vaøo leàu cuûa Abram vaø xem OÂng caàn ñieàu chi. (“Toâi muoán noùi baát cöù ñieàu chi!”) Hagar ñi vaøo laø moät naøng haàu. Roài ñi ra laø moät ngöôøi meï. Vaø caùc vaán ñeà baét ñaàu. Hagar kieâu caêng. Sarai ganh tò. Abram choaùng vaùng khoù xöû. Vaø Thöôïng Ñeá goïi ñöùa beù trai ñoù laø moät “con löøa hoang” – moät teân thích hôïp cho moät ngöôøi sanh ra töø böôùng bænh vaø ñònh tröôùc ñöôøng loái cho noù khôûi söï ñi vaøo lòch söû. Ñaây khoâng laø moät gia ñình aám cuùng maø Sarai chôø ñôïi. Vaø ñaây cuõng khoâng laø ñeà taøi maø Abram vaø Sarai thöôøng neâu leân trong böõa aên chieàu. Cuoái cuøng, möôøi boán naêm sau, khi Abram tieán ñöôïc moät theá kyû tuoåi, vaø Sarai chín möôi... khi Abram ñaõ heát nghe lôøi coá vaán cuûa Sarai, vaø Sarai ñaõ ngöøng coá vaán... khi nhöõng taám giaáy hoa daùn treân töôøng phoøng nuoâi treû ñaõ phai maøu, vaø ñoà ñaïc daønh cho aáu nhi ñaõ loãi thôøi nhieàu naêm... khi ñeà taøi veà ñöùa con ñaõ höùa, ñem laïi nhöõng tieáng thôû daøi, nhöõng gioït leä, vaø nhöõng taàm nhìn xa xoâi vaøo moät khung trôøi im laëng... Thöôïng Ñeá ñeán thaêm hoï vaø baûo hoï neân choïn moät teân cho ñöùa con cuûa hoï saép chaøo ñôøi. Abram vaø Sarai cuøng moät phaûn öùng: cöôøi vang. Hoï cöôøi moät phaàn vì quaù toát ñeå xaûy ra, moät phaàn vì coù theå. Hoï cöôøi vì hoï ñaõ khoâng coøn hy voïng, vaø hy voïng trôû laïi laø ñieàu buoàn cöôøi tröôùc khi thaønh söï thaät. Hoï cöôøi vì heát thaûy ñeàu roà daïi. Abram nhìn qua Sarai – raêng suùn vaø ñang ngaùy treân chieác gheá laéc cuûa Baø, ñaàu ngaõ veà sau vaø moàm haù hoác, chín muøi, nhaên nhuùm nhö traùi maän khoâ. Coøn OÂng thì suy suïp. OÂng coá gaéng, nhöng khoâng theå. OÂng luoân luoân laø ngöôøi ngaây ngoâ cho moïi caâu chuyeän tieáu laâm. Sarai thì hoùm hænh. Khi nghe tin naày, Baø cöôøi ngaát tröôùc khi Baø coù theå neùn loøng. Baø laåm baåm ñieàu gì veà OÂng, phaûi caàn nhieàu hôn ñieàu OÂng ñaõ coù, roài Baø laïi cöôøi. Hoï cöôøi veà ñieàu Baïn laøm, trong khi coù moät ngöôøi noùi raèng mình coù theå laøm ñieàu baát khaû. Hoï cöôøi ñoâi chuùt veà Thöôïng Ñeá, vaø hoï cöôøi raát nhieàu vôùi Thöôïng Ñeá – bôûi Thöôïng Ñeá cuõng ñang cöôøi. Sau ñoù, vôùi nuï cöôøi coøn nôû raïng thieân nhan, Ngaøi baän roän laøm ñieàu toát nhaát cuûa Ngaøi – ñieàu khoù theå tin. Ngaøi thay ñoåi moät vaøi ñieàu – khôûi ñaàu baèng teân cuûa hoï. Abram, cha cuûa moät ngöôøi, baây giôø seõ laø Abraham, cha cuûa moät soá ñoâng. Sarai, moät ngöôøi baát khaû sanh, baây giôø seõ laø Sarah, moät baø meï. Nhöng teân cuûa hoï khoâng laø ñieàu duy nhaát Thöôïng Ñeá thay ñoåi. Ngaøi thay ñoåi taâm trí hoï. Ngaøy thay ñoåi ñöùc tin cuûa hoï. Ngaøi thay ñoåi con soá giaûm tröø thueá cuûa hoï. Ngaøi thay ñoåi phöông caùch hoï ñònh nghóa danh töø “baát khaû.” Nhöng, hôn taát caû, Ngaøi thay ñoåi tö thaùi cuûa Sarah veà söï tin caäy nôi Thöôïng Ñeá. Neáu Baø ñöôïc nghe lôøi phaùn cuûa Chuùa Jesus veà söï ngheøo khoå taâm linh, thì Baø coù theå noùi leân lôøi chöùng: “Ngaøi noùi ñuùng. Toâi laøm nhieàu ñieàu theo ñöôøng loái cuûa toâi, toâi bò nhöùc ñaàu. Toâi ñeå Thöôïng Ñeá lo lieäu, thì toâi ñöôïc moät con trai. Baïn thöû töôûng töôïng ñieàu ñoù. Toâi chæ bieát moät ñieàu, toâi laø ngöôøi nöõ ñaàu tieân trong thaønh phoá traû tieàn baùc só nhi khoa baèng chi phieáu trôï caáp cuûa Sôû An Sinh cho ngöôøi giaø.” * * * Hai ngaøn naêm sau, coù moät lôøi chöùng khaùc: “Ñieàu cuoái cuøng toâi muoán laøm laø löôùi caù. Nhöng ñoù chính laø ñieàu Chuùa Jesus muoán laøm. Toâi ñaõ thaû löôùi troïn ñeâm. Tay toâi nhöùc nhoái, Maét toâi noùng boûng. Coå toâi ñau buoát. Toâi chæ muoán moät ñieàu laø veà nhaø vaø ñeå vôï toâi xoa boùp cho tan nhöõng guùt maét treân löng. “Thaät laø moät ñeâm daøi. Khoâng bieát ñaõ bao laàn chuùng toâi vung löôùi vaøo ñeâm ñen vaø nghe löôùi chaïm treân maët bieån. Khoâng bieát ñaõ bao laàn chuùng toâi keàm giöõ ñaàu daây thöøng trong khi maõng löôùi chìm trong nöôùc. Suoát ñeâm chuùng toâi chôø ñôïi moät ñuïng chaïm, moät loâi ñi, moät giaät ngöôïc, baùo cho chuùng toâi bieát ñeå keùo leân moät meû caù lôùn... nhöng ñieàu ñoù khoâng ñeán bao giôø. Ñeán raïng ñoâng, toâi saün saøng veà nhaø. “Vöøa khi toâi saép rôøi baõi, toâi ñeå yù moät ñaùm ñoâng tíeân veà phía toâi. Hoï ñi theo moät ngöôøi cao raùo, baùch boä trong daùng ñi thong dong, thö thaû. Ngaøi thaáy toâi vaø goïi teân toâi. Toâi goïi laïi: ‘Chaøo Thaày Jesus!’ Duø Ngaøi caùch xa khoaûng 100 thöôùc, toâi coù theå thaáy nuï cöôøi nôû raïng rôõ cuûa Ngaøi. ‘Ñoâng quaù, phaûi khoâng?’ Ngaøi reo leân, höôùng veà ñaùm ngöôøi phía sau. Toâi gaät ñaàu vaø ngoài xuoáng chôø xem. “Ngaøi döøng laïi caïnh meù nöôùc vaø khôûi söï noùi. Duø toâi khoâng theå nghe nhieàu, toâi coù theå thaáy raát nhieàu, toâi coù theå thaáy caøng luùc caøng ñoâng ngöôøi ñeán. Trong chen laán vaø xoâ ñaåy, moät ñieàu laï, Chuùa Jesus khoâng bò nhaän chìm trong nöôùc. Nöôùc ngaäp ñeán ñaàu goái khi Ngaøi nhìn toâi. “Toâi khoâng caàn suy nghó hai laàn. Ngaøi treøo leân thuyeàn cuûa toâi, roài John vaø toâi theo sau. Chuùng toâi ñaåy thuyeàn ra xa moät chuùt. Toâi döïa löng vaøo muõi thuyeàn, vaø Chuùa Jesus baét ñaàu giaûng daïy. “Troâng nhö nöûa xöù Israel ñang ôû treân baõi. Nhöõng ngöôøi nam rôøi sôû laøm, nhöõng ngöôøi nöõ ngöng vieäc nhaø. Toâi cuõng nhaän ra moät soá tu só. Sao taát caû ñeàu laéng nghe! Ít thaáy hoï di ñoäng, tuy nhieân maét hoï lung linh nhö thaáy ñöôïc ñieàu gì khieán hoï nhö vaäy. “Khi Chuùa Jesus chaám döùt, Ngaøi quay sang toâi. Toâi ñöùng leân vaø saép keùo neo, Ngaøi beøn noùi: ‘Peter, haõy cheøo ra choã saâu. Chuùng ta seõ löôùi caù.’ “Toâi caøu nhaøu. Toâi nhìn John. Chuùng toâi cuøng moät yù nghó. Neáu Ngaøi muoán duøng chieác thuyeàn ñeå laøm toøa giaûng thì ñöôïc. Nhöng duøng noù ñeå löôùi caù – ñoù laø ngheà nghieäp cuûa chuùng toâi. Toâi saép noùi vôùi ngöôøi thôï moäc giaûng ñaïo naày: ‘Thaày chuyeân giaûng ñaïo, coøn toâi chuyeân löôùi caù.’ Nhöng toâi leã ñoä hôn: ‘Chuùng toâi ñaõ laøm vieäc suoát ñeâm. Chuùng toâi khoâng baét ñöôïc con naøo.’ “Ngaøi vöøa nhìn toâi. Toâi nhìn John. John chôø daáu chæ cuûa toâi. “Toâi öôùc ao coù theå noùi raèng toâi laøm vieäc ñoù vì tình yeâu. Toâi öôùc ao coù theå noùi raèng toâi laøm vieäc ñoù töø loøng taän hieán. Nhöng toâi khoâng theå. Ñieàu toâi coù theå noùi laø coù moät thôøi ñeå chaát vaán vaø moät thôøi ñeå laéng nghe. Vaäy, caøu nhaøu bao nhieâu thì neân caàu nguyeän baáy nhieâu; chuùng toâi ñaåy thuyeàn ra khôi. “Vôùi moãi nhòp cheøo, toâi laàm baàm. Vôùi moãi laàn keùo maùi, toâi cau coù. ‘Khoâng ñöôïc. Khoâng ñöôïc. Khoâng theå naøo. Toâi coù theå khoâng bieát nhieàu, nhöng toâi bieát löôùi caù. Vaø nhöõng gì chuùng toâi seõ mang veà chæ laø nhöõng cuoän löôùi öôùt. “Tieáng naùo ñoäng treân bôø xa daàn, vaø chaúng bao laâu chæ coøn aâm thanh soùng voã maïn thuyeàn. Roát cuoäc chuùng toâi thaû neo. Toâi naâng cuoän löôùi naëng ñeán ngang thaét löng, vaø saép neùm xuoáng bieån. Ñoù laø luùc toâi baét ñöôïc caùi nhìn thoaùng cuûa Chuùa Jesus töø khoùe maét toâi. Neùt bieåu loä cuûa Ngaøi khieán toâi ngöøng taùc ñoäng. “Ngaøi nghieâng ngöôøi qua ngoaøi caïnh thuyeàn, nhìn xuoáng nöôùc nôi toâi saép neùm löôùi. Vaø, haõy nghe ñaây, Ngaøi nôû moät nuï cöôøi. Moät nuï cöôøi nhö treû con, ñaåy goø maù leân cao vaø khieán cho voøng maét thaønh baùn nguyeät – kieåu nuï cöôøi maø Baïn thaáy khi moät ñöùa beù taëng moät moùn quaø cho moät ñöùa baïn vaø chôø xem luùc noù môû ra. “Ngaøi ñeå yù thaáy toâi nhìn Ngaøi, vaø Ngaøi coá daáu nuï cöôøi, nhöng nuï cöôøi vaãn coøn. Nuï cöôøi ñoù ñaåy hai khoùe mieäng cuûa Ngaøi leân cho tôùi khi chôùp hieän nhöõng chieác raêng. Ngaøi ñaõ ban cho toâi moät moùn quaø, vaø Ngaøi khoù theå neùn loøng chôø khi toâi môû noù ra. “‘Chao oâi, Ngaøi coù ôû trong moät thaát voïng naøo chaêng,’ toâi töï nghó trong khi toâi neùm löôùi. Löôùi bay cao, töï bung ra treân baàu trôøi xanh, löõng lôø ñaùp xuoáng tôùi khi chaïm maët nöôùc, roài chìm maát. Toâi quaán daây thöøng moät voøng quanh baøn tay toâi, roài töïa löng ngoài chôø thôøi gian daøi. “Nhöng khoâng caàn chôø laâu. Chieác daây thöøng loûng leûo bò giaät thaúng vaø suyùt keùo toâi ra khoûi thuyeàn. Toâi choáng hai chaân vaøo caïnh thuyeàn vaø keâu giuùp. John vaø Chuùa Jesus phoùng tôùi beân caïnh toâi. “Chuùng toâi keùo löôùi leân kòp tröôùc khi löôùi baét ñaàu raùch. Toâi chöa heà thaáy moät meû löôùi nhö vaäy. Gioáng nhö thaû rôi moät bao ñaù vaøo trong thuyeàn. Thuyeàn chuùng toâi saép ngaäp nöôùc. John phaûi keâu gaøo thuyeàn khaùc ñeán giuùp chuùng toâi. “Moät quang caûnh thaät kyø laï: boán ngö phuû treân hai chieác thuyeàn, ñaày caù ñeán ñaàu goái, vaø moät ngöôøi thôï moäc ngoài treân muõi thuyeàn ngaém nhìn hieän tröôøng huyeân naùo. “Ñoù laø luùc toâi nhaän thöùc ñöôïc Ngaøi laø ai. Vaø ñoù laø luùc toâi nhaän thöùc ñöôïc toâi laø ai: Toâi laø ngöôøi ñaõ noùi vôùi Thöôïng Ñeá nhöõng ñieàu Ngaøi khoâng theå laøm! “‘Thöa Chuùa, haõy laùnh xa toâi. Toâi laø moät ngöôøi toäi loãi.’ Khoâng coøn lôøi naøo khaùc toâi coù theå noùi. “Toâi khoâng bieát Ngaøi thaáy gì trong toâi, nhöng Ngaøi khoâng boû ñi. Coù theå Ngaøi nghó raèng neáu toâi ñeå Ngaøi daïy toâi phöông caùch löôùi caù, thì toâi cuõng ñeå Ngaøi daïy toâi phöông caùch phaûi soáng. “Ñoù laø moät quang caûnh toâi seõ thaáy nhieàu laàn trong vaøi naêm tôùi - trong caùc nghóa trang vôùi nhöõng xaùc cheát, treân caùc söôøn ñoài vôùi nhöõng ngöôøi ñoùi, trong baõo toá vôùi nhöõng keû sôï haõi, beân veä ñöôøng vôùi nhöõng ngöôøi beänh. Caùc nhaân vaät seõ thay ñoåi, nhöng chuû ñeà thì khoâng. Khi chuùng ta noùi: ‘Khoâng loái naøo,’ thì Ngaøi noùi: ‘Con ñöôøng cuûa Ta.’ Roài nhöõng keû nghi ngôø seõ boø leân ñeå vôùt vaùt aân phöôùc. Vaø Ñaáng ban cho nhöõng ñieàu aáy seõ vui thoûa vôùi söï baát ngôø. * * * “Quyeàn löïc cuûa Ta baøy toû maïnh nhaát trong nhöõng ngöôøi yeáu ñuoái.” Thöôïng Ñeá phaùn nhöõng lôøi naày. Söù ñoà Paul ghi cheùp laïi. Thöôïng Ñeá phaùn raèng Ngaøi tìm kieám nhöõng chieác bình troáng khoâng hôn laø nhöõng baép thòt maïnh meõ. Söù ñoà Paul minh chöùng ñieàu ñoù. Tröôùc khi gaëp Chuùa, Paul töøng laø anh huøng giöõa voøng ngöôøi Pharisees. Baïn coù theå goïi OÂng laø Wyatt Earp (cao boài löøng danh) cuûa hoï. OÂng giöõ gìn luaät phaùp vaø traät töï – hoaëc, noùi ñuùng hôn, toân troïng Kinh Luaät vaø ban haønh giaùo leänh. Caùc baø meï hieàn Do thaùi giaùo toân cao OÂng nhö moät taám göông veà moät ñöùa con trai Do thaùi giaùo toát laønh. OÂng ñöôïc ngoài gheá danh döï trong buoåi tieáp taân ngaøy Thöù Tö taïi Caâu laïc boä Sö töû ôû Jerusalem. Treân baøn cuûa OÂng coù caùi keïp giaáy “Nhaân vaät noåi tieáng trong Phaùi Judah,” vaø OÂng ñöôïc choïn laø “Ngöôøi gaàn nhö Thaønh Coâng nhaát” trong khoùa toát nghieäp cuûa OÂng. OÂng nhanh choùng töï taïo mình nhö ngöôøi thöøa keá cho Gamaliel, sö phuï cuûa OÂng. Neáu coù dòp naøo nhö moät vaän may toân giaùo, thì dòp ñoù thuoäc veà Paul. OÂng laø moät tæ phuù taâm linh, sanh ra vôùi moät chaân treân thieân ñaøng, vaø OÂng bieát ñieàu ñoù. Doøng maùu quí toäc vaø ñoâi maét hoang daïi, con ngöôøi treû nhieät tình, lieàu lónh cho söï gìn giöõ moät vöông quoác trong saïch – ñieàu naày coù nghóa laø loaïi tröø caùc tín ñoà Cöùu theá giaùo. Duø vaäy, taát caû nhöõng vieäc naày phaûi döøng laïi beân veä ñöôøng cuûa moät thöôïng loä. Trang bò vôùi nhöõng traùt leänh, nhöõng coøng tay, vaø moät ñaùm lính, Paul ñang treân ñöôøng thöïc hieän moät cuoäc truyeàn giaùo caù nhaân nhoû taïi Damascus. AÁy laø luùc moät ngöôøi naøo ñoù baät saùng vaän ñoäng tröôøng, vaø Paul nghe ñöôïc tieáng noùi. Khi OÂng bieát ngöôøi ñaõ phaùt ra tieáng noùi laø ai, thì quai haøm OÂng rôi xuoáng vaø thaân theå OÂng ngaõ theo. OÂng töï nghó ñeán ñieàu tai haïi nhaát. OÂng bieát raèng theá laø heát. OÂng caûm thaáy voøng daây thoøng loïng quanh coå OÂng. OÂng ngöûi ñöôïc muøi hoa trong chieác xe tang. OÂng khaån caàu ñöôïc cheát nhanh choùng vaø khoâng ñau ñôùn. Nhöng ñieàu xaûy ñeán cho OÂng chæ laø söï yeân laëng vaø bieán coá ñaàu tieân cuûa nhöõng baát ngôø trong suoát ñôøi OÂng. Cuoái cuøng OÂng boái roái vaø ngô ngaùc trong moät phoøng troï. Thöôïng Ñeá ñaët OÂng vaøo ñoù maáy ngaøy vôùi nhöõng caùi vaûy trong maét OÂng, daøy ñeán ñoä höôùng duy nhaát OÂng coù theå thaáy ñöôïc laø beân trong chính OÂng. Vaø OÂng khoâng thích ñieàu OÂng ñaõ thaáy. OÂng thaáy chính con ngöôøi thaät cuûa OÂng – duøng lôøi leõ theo yù rieâng mình, tai haïi nhaát trong caùc toäi nhaân. Moät moân ñoà luaät phaùp quaù khích. Moät keû quaáy phaù. Moät teân khoaùc laùc, kieâu caêng cho raèng ñaõ thoâng thaïo quy taéc cuûa Thöôïng Ñeá. Moät ngöôøi ban phaùt coâng lyù, löôïng giaù cöùu ñoä baèng moät dóa caân. Ñoù laø khi Ananias tìm thaáy OÂng. Nhìn OÂng khoâng maáy khaû quan – bô phôø vaø loaïng choaïng sau ba ngaøy khuûng hoaûng. Nhìn Baø Sarai cuõng khoâng khaû quan laém, Peter cuõng theá. Nhöng ñieàu maø ba ngöôøi cuøng coù nhö nhau, noùi leân nhieàu hôn moät quyeån thaàn hoïc thoáng giaùo. Bôûi khi ho ïñaàu haøng, thì Thöôïng Ñeá böôùc vaøo, vaø keát quaû laø ñöôïc leân nhöõng toa xe thaêng traàm ñi vaøo vöông quoác. Paul ñi moät böôùc tröôùc chaøng trai giaøu quyeàn theáù. OÂng bieát toát hôn khoâng neân choáng ñoái Thöôïng Ñeá. OÂng khoâng vieän côù bieän minh, OÂng chæ caàu xin söï thöông xoùt. Coâ ñôn trong phoøng vôùi nhöõng toäi cuûa OÂng, trong löông taâm vaø baøn tay daáy maùu, OÂng caàu xin ñöôïc taåy saïch. Nhöõng lôøi khuyeân baûo cuûa Ananias ñaùng cho chuùng ta ñoïc: “Anh coøn chôø ñôïi gì? Haõy ñöùng daäy, chòu pheùp traàm mình ñeå ñöôïc thanh saïch toäi loãi, vaø keâu caàu Danh Ngaøi.” OÂng khoâng chôø noùi ñeán hai laàn. Con ngöôøi luaät phaùp Saul bò choân ñi, vaø con ngöôøi giaûi phoùng Paul ñöôïc sanh ra. Sau ñoù, OÂng khoâng coøn gioáng nhö tröôùc. Vaø theá gian cuõng theá. Nhöõng baøi giaûng quaáy ñoäng, caùc moân ñoà taän hieán, vaø saùu ngaøn daäm ñöôøng moøn. Neáu ñoâi deùp cuûa OÂng khoâng keùo leát, thì ngoøi buùt cuûa OÂng ñaõ vieát ra. Neáu OÂng khoâng giaûi thích kyø bí cuûa aân ñieån, thì OÂng ñaõ noùi leân thaàn ñaïo xaùc ñònh tieán trình vaên minh Taây phöông. Taát caû nhöõng lôøi cuûa OÂng coù theå toùm goïn trong moät caâu: “Chuùng toâi truyeàn rao veà Ñaáng Christ chòu thaäp hình.” Ñoù khoâng phaûi vì OÂng thieáu nhöõng baøi giaûng toùm löôïc, maø chæ vì OÂng khoâng theå doác heát trong laàn ñaàu. Tính caùch voâ lyù cuûa toaøn theå söï vieäc khieán OÂng tieán tôùi. Coù theå Chuùa Jesus ñaõ phaûi döùt ñieåm OÂng treân thoân loä. Ngaøi ñaõ phaûi boû OÂng cho nhöõng con dieàu haâu. Ngaøi ñaõ phaûi neùm OÂng vaøo hoûa nguïc. Nhöng Ngaøi khoâng laøm. Ngaøi sai OÂng ñeán vôùi nhöõng ngöôøi laïc loái. Chính Paul goïi ñieàu ñoù laø ñieân khuøng. OÂng moâ taû noù baèng nhöõng chöõ “hoøn ñaù vaáp ngaõ” vaø “roà daïi,” nhöng cuoái cuøng OÂng choïn goïi ñoù laø “aân ñieån.” Vaø OÂng bieän baïch cho loøng trung kieân baát dieät cuûa OÂng, khi noùi: “Tình yeâu cuûa Ñaáng Christ khieán toâi khoâng theå choïn dieàu naøo khaùc.” Paul chöa hoïc moät khoùa naøo veà truyeàn giaùo. OÂng chöa töøng döï moät buoåi hoïp uûy ban. OÂng khoâng heà ñoïc saùch hoäi thaùnh taêng tröôûng. OÂng ñôn sô ñöôïc caûm öùng bôûøi Ñöùc Thaùnh Linh vaø say söa trong tình yeâu ñaõ khieán söï baát khaû trôû thaønh khaû naêng: cöùu ñoä. Söù ñieäp thaät haøo höùng: Cho moät ngöôøi thaáy nhöõng thaát baïi cuûa mình neáu khoâng coù Chuùa Jesus, vaø keát quaû tìm ñöôïc trong vuõng sình beân veä ñöôøng. Cho moät ngöôøi thaáy moät toân giaùo khoâng nhaéc ñeán söï oâ ueá cuûa mình, vaø keát quaû laø nieàm kieâu haõnh trong boä y phuïc ba maûnh thôøi trang. Nhöng, haõy nhaän laáy caû hai trong cuøng moät traùi tim – mang toäi loãi ñeán gaëp Ñaáng Cöùu Ñoä vaø Ñaáng Cöùu Ñoä ñeán gaëp toäi loãi – vaø keát quaû ñôn sô coù theå laø theâm moät ngöôøi Pharisee trôû thaønh moät nhaø truyeàn giaùo chaâm löûa buøng daäy caû theá giôùi. * * * Boán con ngöôøi: Chaøng trai giaøu quyeàn theá, Sarah, Peter, vaø Paul. Moät sôïi chæ laï luøng coät hoï laïi vôùi nhau – teân cuûa hoï. Ba ngöôøi sau cuøng ñeàu ñöôïc ñoåi teân – Sarai thaønh Sarah, Simon thaønh Peter, Saul thaønh Paul. Nhöng ngöôøi ñaàu tieân, chaøng trai treû, chöa bao giôø ñöôïc nhaéc ñeán baèng teân. Coù leû ñoù laø söï giaõi baøy roõ raøng nhaát, ñieåm ñaàu tieân trong taùm Ñaïi Phöôùc (Mat. 5:3): “Phöôùc cho nhöõng keû ngheøo khoå taâm linh, vì Vöông quoác Thieân ñaøng thuoäc veà hoï.” Moät ngöôøi ñaõ taïo moät danh cho chính mình thì seõ khoâng coù teân. Song nhöõng ngöôøi keâu caàu Danh Chuùa Jesus – vaø chæ Danh Ngaøi thoâi – thì seõ ñöôïc nhöõng danh môùi vaø, hôn nöõa, söï soáng môùi. { } THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. ITS CITIZENS ARE DRUNK ON WONDER . “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Mat. 5:3) Let's begin with the New Testament yuppie negotiating. He's rich. Italian shoes. Tailored suit. His money is invested. His plastic is golden. He lives like he flies - first class. He's young. He pumps away fatigue at the gym and slam- dunks old age on the court. His belly is flat, his eyes sharp. Energy is his trademark, and death is an eternity away. He's powerful. If you don't think so, just ask him. You got questions? He's got answers. You got problems? He's got solutions. You got dilemmas? He's got opinions. He knows where he's going, and he'll be there tomorrow. He's the new generation. So the old had better pick up the pace or pack their bags. He has mastered the three "Ps" of yuppiedom. Prosperity. Posterity. Power. He's the rich . . . young. . . ruler. Till today, life for him has been a smooth cruise down a neon avenue. But today he has a question. A casual concern or a genuine fear? We don't know. We do know he has come for some advice. For one so used to calling the shots, calling on this carpenter's son for help must be awkward. For a man of his pedigree to seek the counsel of a country rube is not standard procedure. But this is no standard question. "Teacher," he asks, "what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" The wording of his question betrays his misunderstanding. He thinks he can get eternal life as he gets everything else - by his own strength. "What must I do?" What are the requirements, Jesus? What's the break-even point? No need for chitchat; go straight to the bottom line. How much do I need to invest to be certain of my return? Jesus' answer is intended to make him wince. "If you want to enter life, obey the commandments." A man with half a conscience would have thrown up his hands at that point. "Keep the commandments? Keep the commandments! Do you know how many commandments there are? Have you read the Law lately? I've tried - honestly,I've tried - but I can't." That is what the ruler should say, but confession is the farthest thing from his mind. Instead of asking for help, he grabs a pencil and paper and asks for the list. "Which ones?" He licks his pencil and arches an eyebrow. Jesus indulges him. "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and love your neighbor as yourself." "Great!" thinks the yuppie as he finishes the notes. "Now I've got the quiz. Let's see if I pass. "Murder? Of course not. Adultery? Well, nothing any red-blooded boy wouldn't do. Stealing? A little extortion, but all justifiable. False testimony? Hmmmm . . . let's move on. Honor your father and mother. Sure, I see them on holidays. Love your neighbor as yourself. . . ? "Hey," he grins, "a piece of cake. I've done all of these. In fact, I've done them since I was a kid." He swaggers a bit and hooks a thumb in his belt. "Got any other commandments you want to run past me?" How Jesus keeps from laughing - or crying - is beyond me. The question that was intended to show the ruler how he falls short only convinces him that he stands tall. He's a child dripping water on the floor while telling his mom he hasn't been in the rain. Jesus gets to the point. "If you want to be perfect, then go sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven." The statement leaves the young man distraught and the disciples bewildered. * * * Consider the case of Sarai.1 She is in her golden years, but God promises her a son. She gets excited. She visits the maternity shop and buys a few dresses. She plans her shower and remodels her tent . . . but no son. She eats a few birthday cakes and blows out a lot of candles . . . still no son. She goes through a decade of wall calendars... still no son. So Sarai decides to take matters into her own hands. ("Maybe God needs me to take care of this one.") She convinces Abram that time is running out. ("Face it, Abe, you ain't getting any younger, either.") She commands her maid, Hagar, to go into Abram's tent and see if he needs anything. ("And I mean 'anything'!") Hagar goes in a maid. She comes out a mom. And the problems begin. Hagar is haughty. Sarai is jealous. Abram is dizzy from the dilemma. And God calls the baby boy a "wild donkey" - an appropriate name for one born out of stubbornness and destined to kick his way into history. It isn't the cozy family Sarai expected. And it isn't a topic Abram and Sarai bring up very often at dinner. Finally, fourteen years later, when Abram is pushing a century of years and Sarai ninety . . . when Abram has stopped listening to Sarai's advice, and Sarai has stopped giving it . . . when the wallpaper in the nursery is faded and the baby furniture is several seasons out of date... when the topic of the promised child brings sighs and tears and long looks into a silent sky . . . God pays them a visit and tells them they had better select a name for their new son. Abram and Sarai have the same response: laughter. They laugh partly because it is too good to happen and partly because it might. They laugh because they have given up hope, and hope born anew is always ftmny before it is real. They laugh at the lunacy of it all. Abram looks over at Sarai - toothless and snoring in her rocker, head back and mouth wide open, as fruitful as a pitted prune and just as wrinkled. And he cracks up. He tries to contain it, but he can't. He has always been a sucker for a good joke. Sarai is just as amused. When she hears the news, a cackle escapes before she can contain it. She mumbles something about her husband's needing a lot more than what he's got and then laughs again. They laugh because that is what you do when someone says he can do the impossible. They laugh a little at God, and a lot with God - for God is laughing, too. Then, with the smile still on his face, he gets busy doing what he does best - the unbelievable. He changes a few things beginning with their names. Abram, the father of one, will now be Abraham, the father of a multitude. Sarai, the barren one, will now be Sarah, the mother. But their names aren't the only things God changes. He changes their minds. He changes their faith. He changes the number of their tax deductions. He changes the way they define the word impossible. But most of all, he changes Sarah's attitude about trusting God. Were she to hear Jesus' statement about being poor in spirit, she could give a testimony: "He's right. I do things my way, I get a headache. I let God take over, I get a son. You try to figure that out. All I know is I am the first lady in town to pay her pediatrician with a Social Security check." * * * Two thousand years later, here's another testimony: "The last thing I wanted to do was fish. But that was exactly what Jesus wanted to do. I had fished all night. My arms ached. My eyes burned. My neck was sore. All I wanted was to go home and let my wife rub the knots out of my back. "It had been a long night. I don't know how many times we had thrown that net into the blackness and heard it slap against the sea. I don't know how many times we had held the twine rope as the net sank into the water. All night we had waited for that bump, that tug, that jerk that would clue us to haul in the catch . . . but it had never come. At daybreak, I was ready to go home. "Just as I was about to leave the beach, I noticed a crowd coming toward me. They were following a lanky fellow who walked with a broad swing and wide gait. He saw me and called my name. 'Morning, Jesus!' I called back. Though he was a hundred yards away, I could see his white smile. 'Quite a crowd, eh?' he yelled, motioning at the mass behind him. I nodded and Sat down to watch. "He stopped near the edge of the water and began to speak. Though I couldn't hear much, I could see a lot. I could see more and more people coming. With all the pressing and shoving, it's a wonder Jesus didn't get pushed down into the water. He was already knee-deep when he looked at me. "I didn't have to think twice. He climbed into my boat, and John and I followed. We pushed out a bit. I leaned back against the bow, and Jesus began to teach. "It seemed that half of Israel was on the beach. Men had left their work, women their household chores. I even recognized some priests. How they all listened! They scarcely moved, yet their eyes danced as if they were in some way seeing what they could be. "When Jesus finished, he turned to me. I stood and had begun to pull anchor when he said, 'Push out into the deep, Peter. Let's fish.' "I groaned. I looked at John. We were thinking the same thing. As long as he wanted to use the boat for a platform, that was fine. But to use it for a fishing boat - that was our territory. I started to tell this carpenter-teacher, 'You stick to preaching, and I'll stick to fishing.' But I was more polite: 'We worked all night. We didn't catch a thing.' "He just looked at me. I looked at John. John was waiting for my cue. "I wish I could say I did it because of love. I wish I could say I did it out of devotion. But I can't. All I can say is there is a time to question and a time to listen. So, as much with a grunt as with a prayer, we pushed out. "With every stroke of the oar, I muttered. With every pull of the paddle, I grumbled. 'No way. No way. Impossible. I may not know much, but I know fishing. And all we're going to come back with are some wet nets. "The noise on the beach grew distant, and soon the only sound was the smack of the waves against the hull. Finally we cast anchor. I picked up the heavy netting, held it waist-high, and started to throw it. That's when I caught a glimpse of Jesus out of the corner of my eye. His expression stopped me in midmotion. "He was leaning out over the edge of the boat, looking out into the water where I was about to throw the net. And, get this, he was smiling. A boyish grin pushed his cheeks high and turned his round eyes into half-moons - the kind of smile you see when a child gives a gift to a friend and watches as it is unwrapped. "He noticed me looking at him, and he tried to hide the smile, but it persisted. It pushed at the corners of his mouth until a flash of teeth appeared. He had given me a gift and could scarcely contain himself as I opened it. "'Boy, is he in for a disappointment,' I thought as I threw the net. It flew high, spreading itself against the blue sky and floating down until it flopped against the surface, then sank. I wrapped the rope once around my hand and sat back for the long wait. "But there was no wait. The slack rope yanked taut and tried to pull me overboard. I set my feet against the side of the boat and yelled for help. John and Jesus sprang to my side. "We got the net in just before it began to tear. I'd never seen such a catch. It was like plopping down a sack of rocks in the boat. We began to take in water. John screamed for the other boat to help us. "It was quite a scene: four fishermen in two boats, knee- deep in fish, and one carpenter seated on our bow, relishing the pandemonium. "That's when I realized who he was. And that's when I realized who I was: I was the one who told God what he couldn't do! "'Go away from me, Lord; I'm a sinful man.' There wasn't anything else I could say. "I don't know what he saw in me, but he didn't leave. Maybe he thought if I would let him tell me how to fish, I would let him tell me how to live. "It was a scene I would see many times over the next couple of years - in cemeteries with the dead, on hillsides with the hungry, in storms with the frightened, on roadsides with the sick. The characters would change, but the theme wouldn't. When we would say, 'No way,' he would say, 'My way.' Then the ones who doubted would scramble to salvage the blessing. And the One who gave it would savor the surprise." * * * "My power shows up best in weak people." God said those words. Paul wrote them down. God said he was looking for empty vessels more than strong muscles. Paul proved it. Before he encountered Christ, Paul had been somewhat of a hero among the Pharisees. You might say he was their Wyatt Earp. He kept the law and order - or, better said, revered the Law and gave the orders. Good Jewish moms held him up as an example of a good Jewish boy. He was given the seat of honor at the Jerusalem Lions' Club Wednesday luncheon. He had a "Who's Who in Judaism" paperweight on his desk and was selected "Most Likely to Succeed" by his graduating class. He was quickly establishing himself as the heir apparent to his teacher, Gamaliel. If there is such a thing as a religious fortune, Paul had it. He was a spiritual billionaire, born with one foot in heaven, and he knew it. Blue-blooded and wild-eyed, this young zealot was hell-bent on keeping the kingdom pure - and that meant keeping the Christians out. All this came to a halt, however, on the shoulder of a highway. Equipped with subpoenas, handcuffs, and a posse, Paul was on his way to do a little personal evangelism in Damascus. That’s when someone slammed on the stadium lights, and he heard the voice. When he found out whose voice it was, his jaw hit the ground, and his body followed. He braced himself for the worst. He knew it was all over. He felt the noose around his neck. He smelled the flowers in the hearse. He prayed that death would be quick and painless. But all he got was silence and the first of a lifetime of surprises. He ended up bewildered and befuddled in a borrowed bedroom. God left him there a few days with scales on his eyes so thick that the only direction he could look was inside himself. And he didn't like what he saw. He saw himself for what he really was - to use his own words, the worst of sinners. A legalist. A killjoy. A bumptious braggart who claimed to have mastered God's code. A dispenser of justice who weighed salvation on a panscale. That's when Ananias found him. He wasn't much to look at - haggard and groggy after three days of turmoil. Sarai wasn't much to look at either, nor was Peter. But what the three have in common says more than a volume of systematic theology. For when they gave up, God stepped in, and the result was a rollercoaster ride straight into the kingdom Paul was a step ahead of the rich young ruler. He knew better than to strike a deal with God. He didn't make any excuses; he just pleaded for mercy. Alone in the room with his sins on his conscience and blood on his hands, he asked to be cleansed. Ananias' instructions to Paul are worth reading: "What are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name." He didn't have to be told twice. The legalist Saul was buried, and the liberator Paul was born. He was never the same afterwards. And neither was the world. Stirring sermons, dedicated disciples, and six thousand miles of trails. If his sandals weren't slapping, his pen was writing. If he wasn't explaining the mystery of grace, he was articulating the theology that would determine the course of Western civilization. All of his words could be reduced to one sentence. "We preach Christ crucified." It wasn't that he lacked other sermon outlines; it was just that he couldn't exhaust the first one. The absurdity of the whole thing kept him going. Jesus should have finished him on the road. He should have left him for the buzzards. He should have sent him to hell. But he didn't. He sent him to the lost. Paul himself called it crazy. He described it with phrases like "stumbling block" and "foolishness," but chose in the end to call it "grace." And he defended his unquenchable loyalty by saying, "The love of Christ leaves [me] no choice." Paul never took a course in missions. He never sat in on a committee meeting. He never read a book on church growth. He was just inspired by the Holy Spirit and punch-drunk on the love that makes the impossible possible: salvation. The message is gripping: Show a man his failures without Jesus, and the result will be found in the roadside gutter. Give a man religion without reminding him of his filth, and the result will be arrogance in a three-piece suit. But get the two in the same heart - get sin to meet Savior and Savior to meet sin - and the result just might be another Pharisee turned preacher who sets the world on fire. * * * Four people: the rich young ruler, Sarah, Peter, Paul. A curious thread strings the four together-their names. The final three had their names changed-Sarai to Sarah, Simon to Peter, Saul to Paul. But the first one, the young yuppie, is never mentioned by name. Perhaps that's the clearest explanation of the first beatitude. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” The one who made a name for himself is nameless. But the ones who called on Jesus' name-and his name only - got new names and, even more, new life. (Excerpt from The Applause of Heaven bay Max Lucado) {
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