Better Than I Know Myself

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a prayer based on Psalm 139:1-7

by Emily Bowman

Dear God,

Your Word echoes in my thoughts as my thoughts echo your Word

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

You know everything about me;
you know who I really am on the
inside. I can hide myself from the
kids at school and hope that my
mom can't read my mind, but I
can't hide anything from you.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.

You know when I'm putting off
my homework to watch TV, and
you know when I actually get up
to do it. You know what I'm
going to do even before I do.
You know my good intentions,
and you know when I fall short.
And when I'm really down on
myself, you know there's good-
ness in me.

You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.

You know what is going on in my
day, and you know how I'm
going to react. You know my
habits and values. You knew I
was going to panic on that pop
quiz even before I did. You also
knew I would ace it!

Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely.

You know what I am going to say
even when the words are just
thoughts and even before the
thoughts come into my head.
You know when I want to say
something-but bite my tongue.
Every thought, Lord-good or
bad-you know them all.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

You watched me take my first
breath, and you've watched me
grow up. You know what the
future holds for me. You know the
choices I have to make and the
things I have to resist. I know that
you will guide me through every-
thing-through tests, through
learning to drive, through troubles
with friends, through leaving
home, through it all.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.

I know that you know me better
than my best friend or even my
family does. I know that you
stand beside me and behind me,
that you are above me and
below me, that you are to my
left and to my right. I know that
if only I let your word echo in my
life and listen to you in prayer,
you will guide each step of my
future. This knowledge is almost
too much for me. It is so amazing
that I can barely conceive it.

Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?

Why would I want to live my life
without you? Why would I even
want to try?

Amen.


Emily Bowman is a junior at Cloverleaf High School in Seville, Ohio.

2004 ChristianityToday. Used by permission.